WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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