If that was your dad, he is hot
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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