that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
