Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
operation harelip BJ is a go
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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