Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
