I love black thongs
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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