I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's blow job season.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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