So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
