you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
