her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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