She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
