Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
