thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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