yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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