sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
