Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
