Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
