i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
