you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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