So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
