wanna go halves on a baby?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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