You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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