so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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