sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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