either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
