hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
