allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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