She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
