Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
