I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
