So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
