I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
