i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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