I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
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