Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
