is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
