I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
