you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
