Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
