My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
