Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize