Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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