Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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