They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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