This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
