just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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