am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
