Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
