I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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