Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
