Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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