So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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