i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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