it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
