I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
