But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
