my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
