Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize