I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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